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Suck It Up Buttercup!

6 Jan
Not everything that happens in your life is about you. Every joy you feel, love, laughter, happiness and bliss… Each heartache, tear, pain and horror that you witness is not about you. Those experiences, every single one of them, happen so that someday, maybe tomorrow or 20 years from now or even after you’ve left this earthly existence, someone somewhere will hear part of your story and it will… have an impact on them that is so great, so moving and so profound that it changes their life forever.
Consider that idea the next time your ego lies to you. Consider that idea the next time you scream out ‘why me?’ Or ‘life isn’t fair.’
Because in the end, your body becomes dust and we all are living on borrowed time.
Spend it wisely.

Big Girl Panties

5 Jan
The devil you know vs the devil you don’t. Life doesn’t reward us simply because we are living day to day as responsible, hard working individuals. There’s no gold star for playing by the rules. We all have to pay the piper for the sins of …our past. There is no free ride and the world owes us nothing. Suck it up, life isn’t fair and it ain’t pretty but if you can look at yourself in the mirror each morning and not be ashamed of the eyes staring back at you, then life really is pretty damn good. Our reward for doing the right thing may be the fact that we are still alive. Be grateful, stop bitching and remember, God doesn’t owe us shit, but we owe Him everything.

Here I Go Again

26 Nov

Well boys & girls… it’s been awhile since I’ve done this whole ‘blog’ thing. In truth, it’s been awhile since I’ve written. To clarify, for work I write on a daily basis but I quickly lost my ability or desire to write for me. It just seemed like work & after spending many hours on the computer for work… I just really didn’t feel like diving back in for the cathartic effect that writing has for me. But… now it’s time. A year has passed since I’ve posted anything to Woman In Recovery. I kept the domain name in hopes that I would venture back…. and thankfully.. I have.

I have made a commitment to write for 20 minutes a day. While  I sat there this evening, staring at a blank journal, I realized that jotting down my musings on my blog constitutes writing. My hope is that writing is like riding a bike… that I’ll stumble around for a little while but with enough time, practice and dedication.. I’ll be able to take the training wheels off. That’s my hope.

So I am going to start my musings… on life.. recovery & pretty much anything that holds a lil’ bit of interest for me at any given time. At times these laments will be funny as hell.. other times they will be dark, but one thing is for sure. Every post will be 100% me. I have no agenda, I’m no longer working with or for any addiction recovery company… I have gone back to the start. I am at Step 1.

The Addicted Project Gives Us Asylum

10 Jun

“redemption will be lost ~ unless I fall to my knees in surrender” ~me

This past week I have been on a mission. I have been exploring different platforms and submitting writing samples to anything that caught my eye. My motivation?  I wasn’t working an agenda or going after recognition, I was simply curious Would my writing merit positive feedback from platforms that represent or inform the addiction recovery community? The results have been eye-opening, flattering and in one case, life changing.

I stumbled upon The Addicted Project on Facebook one evening. After taking a gander at their site, I had the biggest shit eating grin on my face.  I jotted down a quick email to the founder, inquiring about the possibility of being a contributor for one edition of their journal named Asylum.

Statement Of Purpose:
“The Addicted Project works to create positive personal, social, spiritual change by harnessing the power of music, art, and literature and those who love it. We view all forms of self expression as a tool for recovery, therapy, community building, leadership development and action.

“The Addicted Project is produced by individuals in recovery for people in recovery. In other words, you are The Addicted Project.”

The name alone is brilliant. ~Asylum ~ So many elements are contained within that single word. Asylum will impact a population of individuals in a way that is utterly brilliant and with a style all it’s own. Not only did the scope of The Addicted Project exceed my initial reaction, it blew me out of the damn water with the personalities driving this project. They are crashing through the glass ceiling of what is available to the addicted and recovery communities. It’s about damn time someone stepped up to the plate.

I didn’t realize the magnitude, intensity and just sheer joy I would experience based off of an exchange of emails and phone conversations. The creator of The Addicted Project and his beautiful significant other just rock. Open, brutally truthful, no bullshit with a solid mission. That is a combination that is rarely seen anywhere, let alone in the addiction recovery industry. Yes folks, it is an industry. Quite honestly, I was shell-shocked when I was asked to hop on board. I honestly didn’t bank on being accepted. I exhaled a breath of satisfaction knowing that my unconventional, anti-establishment philosophies and eccentric nature would be understood.

While I don’t always go with the flow of societal expectations on WomanInRecovery, there are many subjects, opinions, views, musings and laments that I haven’t posted. Why? Quite frankly I wasn’t sure anyone would be interested. Oh how wrong I was & Oh how sweet the past few days have been as I put pen to paper.

There is a light and a dark side of recovery. While many prefer to live in the light, for my own sanity I return to some of the grim realities that encompassed my addiction and my recovery. This is life ladies and gentlemen, and while the scenery changes, it ain’t always pretty. Being sober does not entitle you to everything and life doesn’t owe you anything. There is no shiny prize for living life as a responsible adult. The true benefits of living in recovery are those which we work our asses off to achieve.

Light does exist when you are sober. Happiness, humor and joy are all found in recovery. However ~ there is another side. This side is all kinds of gray and black. During these moments the simple act of waking up can be a struggle and breathing is a conscious act. Without facing the dark, the ability to embrace the future will continue to allude you. There are two sides, two natures and two faces of recovery. Both play critical roles. The grittier sides of recovery and addiction are where I plan to invest some energy, it is long past due.

I have been given an amazing opportunity, a one in a million chance to explore and express elements of my past addicted life and my present recovery that have been clawing at my psyche. I have the chance to be raw and uncensored in a publication that is unlike anything anyone has ever seen.

I am beyond trilled to have been warmly welcomed and given a seat at The Addicted Project table. Words are unable to express the emotion of encountering a project that just “fits”, but I will  leave you with this sentiment. This is going to be one hell of a ride. Giddy up!

On A Lighter Note Of Inspiration

1 Apr

So that I can end my day on a lighter note – after my soapbox rant in the previous post- I offer a quote from someone much much wiser than I. 🙂




1 Nov

It is suggested by the recovery community to keep a gratitude journal.  This is something that I have never done.  I thought I would start out by stating some things that I am grateful for this evening:

1. My amazing family and their unrelenting support of my sobriety.

2. The opportunity to work in a field where I can place recovery first.  I co-own a business called toobusygals and I am able to schedule my work around my recovery.  This is awesome.

3. The chance to take a weekend off and start this blog, plus start a blog frog community for women in recovery.

4. The chance to work with an amazing woman who wrote an amazing book about sobriety.

5. A roof over my head, a belly full of food and a warm bed to go to sleep in.

What are you grateful for?

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